don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
