Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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