Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
