So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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