He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I party with great urgency now.
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