I hope mine doesn't look like that
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
