put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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