Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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