So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
