Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
