i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
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We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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