imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
