he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
