I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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