Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
