I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
