no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
