I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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