Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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