So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
