Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
