Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
