I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
