I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
