He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
