I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
