Nicole vs. Life
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
