He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
