i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Houston, we have a squirter
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Someone came in the potted fern
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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