i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
