dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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