I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
