i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize