I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
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