Is it normal to miss your booty call?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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