sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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