dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
