Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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