Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
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The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
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I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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