Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Its about making memories worth repressing
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
