How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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