I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
