I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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