Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
