I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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