the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
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There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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