don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.