used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!