Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
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she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
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I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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