So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.