My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"