how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.