the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
