Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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