I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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