:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize