Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
