so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
