I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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