life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
