fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
