You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
