y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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