Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize