Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
