Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize