haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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