I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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