Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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