i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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