Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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